By Blanca Amaya
In honor of sex week, I felt it was important to focus on another aspect of safe sexual activities. If you are someone who is not regularly online or prefers to find relationships in your daily life, then you may not know what I’m referring to. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr. These are just a few of the many dating apps that people regularly use, whether it’s to find a meaningful relationship or a mindless hookup.
However, in this article, I want to focus on the mindless hookup aspect. Pew Research found that 24% of individuals who use dating apps said their main reason for using the app was to have casual sex. The think tank also found that men who have used dating apps are 31% more likely to admit they joined for casual sex, compared to women who are at 13%.
And there’s nothing wrong with that! Adults should be able to have control over their bodies and make decisions for themselves as they see fit. If that means sleeping with unknown people for fun or a thrill, then go ahead! But what are the differences between casual sex with someone you met at a bar vs. someone you met online?
Well, there are not too many differences, but there is a key difference. You know the person you met at the bar is real. You know what they look like and if they’re with some friends you may get an understanding of what they’re really like by chatting with them. On the other hand, if you’re attempting to meet someone online with the intention of hooking up, there is no sure way of knowing if they’re real. In a survey report, it was found that 41% of adults who used dating apps in 2020 stated they were victims of catfishing.
If you’re unfamiliar with the term, that’s fine, but you should watch the MTV show “Catfish.” Catfishing is when a person pretends to be someone else, whether it’s to hide their looks and identity to get with someone or to get financial gain from others. That’s, unfortunately, the risk with online dating or meetups. Luckily, I’m here to help you out.
Now, if I lost you, this is a good time to tune back in! Here are three things to stay clear of when swiping through apps:
First, stay clear of unusual profiles. This includes profiles that (1) don’t include much information, (2) don’t have many pictures, and (3) pictures that may look too good to be true. You may be thinking, “some people prefer to keep their life private on dating apps, especially if their only goal is to hookup.” However, that will not always be the case. People lie to get what they want, and if you simply assume the person is who they said they are, then you might end up hurt in more ways than one. 1 out of 10 sex offenders commonly use dating apps to meet other people. A study from BYU found that out of 2,000 rape victims, “14% occured during the initial meetup after meeting on a dating app”.
That’s the scary reality. But there are ways to prevent this from happening! If you are unsure if the person is really who they said they are, then you could ask them to video call. Some people may not be comfortable with a video call immediately after meeting, so it’s best to ask after at least an hour of successful conversation. If they refuse or claim they are unable to, then they may be a catfish, or they could simply not want to video call. If that is the case, then a trusty Google image search can suffice. However, this is by no means a sure way to find out if the person you’re speaking to is a catfish. This is simply a suggestion to possibly help prevent it.
Second, stay clear of individuals who immediately make comments about your body. Compliments such as “you have very pretty eyes” or “you have a nice smile” are completely fine, but when an individual starts the conversation with “wanna hookup?” That is a major red flag. Even if you are simply on the app for casual sex, that does not mean that should be the immediate start of the conversation. It is more than likely that the person has little to no respect towards you, thus meaning they will have little to no respect for you in bed.
A helpful tip that you could use is as soon as they say something weird or disrespectful, simply block and report them. All applications have them, and it might be the best thing to do. You do not have to put up with disrespectful people who would not care for you if you met in person. Be kind to yourself.
Third, and the final one, is if you do choose to meet up with someone you met online, then do it safely. There is still no sure way to make sure that the person you’re choosing to meet up with has the right intentions, but you can assure that you make it back home safely.
(1) Set up a meeting in a public place. That way, you can see who they are, and there are multiple eyewitnesses if you disappear with them. (2) Always let someone you know and trust where you are going, who you are going with, and an estimation of how long you will be there.
If the meeting goes well and you choose to stay with the person longer than the estimated time, simply let your trusted person know ahead of time so they won’t worry.
(3) Share your live location with a person you know and trust. This tip is very important. Even if you already let someone know where you are going, it would still be beneficial to share your love location. Your trusted person can watch where you are going and make sure that you are staying safe from the comfort of your home. Both you and your loved one will be grateful that you did it.
And remember! Keep your phone charged, just in case! You never know when you might need it to save your life.
Stay safe out there, guys, and I hope you all are having a fun sex week!
xo, Blanca
