By Nora Beechwood
Do you remember going to the mall with your mom for Christmas presents when you were younger? And during the madness of it all, somehow you would find yourself passing Spencer’s, the ultimate store for college kids all of cliques. You would stop walking for just half a second, intrigued by the lava lamps and fluffy blankets with magic mushrooms on them. Then your mother would realize where you were looking and scoop you up, saying “That store is for adults! Never go in there!” Only for us to head in once we were old enough to go to the mall by ourselves and gaze in amazement at all the T-shirts that say the F word, the endless amounts of merch for every fandom, and, perhaps the most mind-boggling of all, the wall of lingerie and sex toys.
Chances are, you’ve seen your fair share of sex toys. Whether it be at the back of Spencer’s, in porn, or maybe on one of those billboards advertising a sex store off the next exit on the highway. In the day and age of COVID-19, when casual hookups are declining, masturbation and sex toys have risen in popularity.
The beauty of these intimate objects is that they can come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and intensities, and they are not limited to just women. Anyone can use one as they please. Perhaps you’ve been considering buying one for yourself. Maybe you want to add to your collection. Maybe your partner’s suggested bringing some into the bedroom. Regardless of your situation, I’m here to help you achieve peak pleasure from the comforts of your room, and from the comforts of your own hand.
Before you go out purchasing a toy, there are some things that you’ll need to know/buy before grabbing anything off the shelf:
Lube
For the love of god, stock up on lube. If your ideal toy has anything to do with penetration of any kind, whether it be vaginal or anal, lube is your best friend. It prevents friction, tearing, dryness, and enhances your overall pleasure. If you happen to use a latex condom on your toys, be sure to check your bottle to make sure that you’re using a water-based lube. Other types, such as silicone or oil-based, can break a condom down and cause it to rip during intercourse. Silicone-based lube can also break down silicone toys.
I will say this though, if you’re messing around with anything anal, use lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t naturally lubricate when you’re aroused. Don’t be shy when applying it. Hell, use the whole bottle if need be.
Sanitization
When the deed is done, clean your toys. Clean them after every single time you use them, otherwise bacteria can grow and fester on the surface. Toys come in all sorts of different materials, so be sure to examine the packaging to see what your toy is made out of, and make sure to research what can be used to clean it.
Wondering if you need to buy a bottle of a sanitization product? Nope! All you need is unscented hand soap to clean it. However, if you want, there are plenty of different brands and bottles of sanitization that are safe to use for toys.
Condoms
This one can be entirely up to you. While not as crucial as the other two, using a condom can protect you from the harmful chemicals that your toy could be made out of, plus it makes it worlds easier to clean.
Now that we have discussed the essentials that you need for taking care of your toy (as well as yourself), let’s dive into the main categories of sex toys, and you can decide for yourself which is best for you and your preferences.
Vibrators
These motorized bad boys are the most common sex toy on the market. When you hear the word “vibrator,” you probably think of a wand-shaped one, but the reality of the world of vibrators is that the variety is endless. Their wide medley of shapes, intensities, and uses puts them at the top of this list.
Wand-shaped vibrators are excellent for those who enjoy a strong sensation to their penis or vulva, or who need an extra push to get fully aroused. They can also be used as a teasing tool on someone’s body, and for nipple stimulation as well.
Looking for something more discrete and gets straight to the point? While clitoral vibrators might be more marketed towards those with a clitoris, they can also be used if you have a penis! These are amazing if you enjoy direct clitoral or tip stimulation. (Fun fact, the penis head and clitorial head have the same amount of nerve endings, which is over 8,000!)
The best thing about these types of vibrators is that there’s one for everyone. Some have little wings you can wrap around your labia or head, or ears that surround your entire intimate area. Some come in a standard bullet shape that’s about the same length as a crayon. I personally think that vibrators are the best toys to use to achieve an orgasm, but then again, my body may be widely different from yours. However, these can be a great introduction to the world of sex toys for someone just starting out.
To clean these, do not submerge them in water. If your toy vibrates (and therefore has a motor in it), don’t let it come into contact with water. It can cause corrosion in the battery and impact the functionality of your toy, not to mention it can put your safety at risk. All you need to do is rub it down with some unscented antibacterial soap and then wipe it off with a damp paper towel. As a matter of fact, this simple method of cleaning is extremely versatile, and it can work for all the other toys, too.
Dildos
A dildo is qualified as a dildo if they’re “anything vaguely phallic-shaped that is meant to simulate penile penetration.” While the idea of using a dildo might be daunting, you don’t need to use one of the absolute monsters that you see in porn. Like vibrators, these can come in a vast variety of shapes and sizes. Want one that’s only a few inches long to get a feel for it? Those exist! Are you more into G-spot stimulation? There are definitely ones long enough for that!
If you’re using a dildo, whether it be for the first time or the fiftieth, make sure you have plenty of lube, time, as well as cleanup materials if you think things are going to get messy. If you’re using it on another person, be sure to check in with them every few minutes, and establish a safe word in case they don’t wish to continue.
Remember, using a dildo (or any type of toy meant for penetration for that matter) can be painful for some, so always establish boundaries and limitations in case they cannot handle it. This goes for your own body as well. Do not force yourself to try something that you or your body cannot handle.
Butt Plugs
Butt plugs are a fantastic way to get started with anal play. They can teach your body to become accustomed to penetration and train your muscles to become relaxed around different-sized toys. But don’t be mistaken: butt plugs don’t have to be only the stepping stone to full-blown anal. They can also thrive as a toy all by themselves, and be a great way to stimulate the sensitive ring of nerves around the anus.
You also might be wondering what the difference is between using a butt plug and a small dildo. While dildos are more dynamic, meaning they’re meant to be taken in and out, butt plugs are meant to stay in the body and give you a feeling of fullness.
On top of that, plugs (or really any properly made anal toy) have a flared base at the bottom to prevent it from getting lost. Yes, it can happen! And it’s not a pleasant experience to try and remove it. The anus can act as a vacuum and suck things inside it, and too much movement can wiggle any foreign object farther inside the body. If this does ever happen to you or a partner, prepare to use a lot of lube, gloves, or a trip to a walk-in clinic (or the ER if things get really bad).
Just like vibrators and dildos, there are a huge variety of plugs that can meet whatever needs you have. Are you a beginner and want to start small? This pinkie-width plug on Amazon is calling your name. Want a variety of sizes from the same kit? The company Luxe has got you covered. Do you want to drive yourself or your partner absolutely crazy with pleasure? Vibrating plugs can give you everything you want and more.
As mentioned above with dildos, do not push yourself to your limit. Start off small and simple to warm yourself up. And unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate, so be sure to have more than enough lube on hand so that you don’t tear.
These three categories are the most popular in the sex toy industry, but there are so many more sub-categories that you can explore. Glass and metal wands that can be used for temperature play. Prostate toys that can reach the male G-spot. If you like it and you wanna put a ring on it, a c-ck ring certainly helps with that. There is no toy out there that cannot meet your needs.
Remember, as mentioned a million times above, establish boundaries with yourself, or the people around you when using sex toys. Do not ever push yourself or another person beyond these boundaries, as serious physical injury can occur, as well as a mental drop. The purpose of sex toys is to pleasure oneself, not to punish. Always listen to your body and what it needs. If you’re achieving peek pleasure from your toy(s), that’s amazing! If you’ve decided that they’re not your thing, that’s perfectly fine as well. Everybody is vastly different, and everyone’s method of pleasuring themselves is going to be just as unique.
Cheers to all, and happy honeymooning!
Nora xx
